New Divide

Recently loving a song my Linkin Park which name New Divide. I know that this song has been sometime back, but now then i saw how the lyrics go.. haha!




Here is the part that I like...

I remembered black skies, the lightning all around me
I remembered each flash as time began to blur
Like a startling sign that fate had finally found me
And your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve

So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes
Give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies across this new divide

When i read through the lyrics, it let me got a feeling that when I am in a lot of trouble, Someone just come to my side... Telling me what is my destination, what should i do, God speaks to me through Father Anthon...

Sometimes human's thinking are complicated, human always things for so call rubbished too much, and in this tempted world, everyone's mind is polluted. I am doing things very very wrong, going into very serious trouble for the past of my life. I know that, and some of you reading my blog know that as well.

Even though I always put myself into serious trouble, doing a lot of things you guys dun want to think about it. Last time, I am not a shame, or even dun give a care on what I did. But recently, what touched my heart is... I know when I am doing so many "shitty" things and people start to hate me, piss off with me or even don't bother me. There is still someone who loves me...

I was so touched, I know God is always with me... He care about me, and he love me... He didn't look at my past, he knows what is in my heart... He knows my hurt, he knows my burden, he knows my everything more then anyone do.

Once I was lost, I was so lost till I have no idea what for doing here. Studying? Or just wasting up my parent's money going club, drinking, smoking and doing lots of stuff...

Now I know, I am here to equip myself. Equip up myself so that I can face more trouble and I still can stand firm! Since I have know what is my calling, I will just go on with it, my family support my decision and I have nothing to worry about, I just want to obey God's calling. God has his plan on me, from last time till now, and I truly believe this!

Starting from changing my habit, start with smoking! Totally quit on August! Pray for me!! AMEN!!

Nicotine

Just found out the withdrawal symptoms of Nicotine:

1) Dysphoria or depressed mood (sometimes)
2) Insomnia (oh yeah... I can't sleep!)
3) Irritability, frustration or anger (sometimes)
4) Anxiety (sure)
5) Difficulty concentrating (this is what I facing now)
6) Restlessness (this is what I facing now)
7) Decreased heart rate
8) Increased appetite or weight gain (I am...)


Horrible......

So to those that are still smoking out there, smoking really will kill you, it not only harm yourself, giving a chance for you to have lung cancer, and it also kill your love one slowly, for the sack of the people you love and the people that love you, quit smoking...

I am quiting, will completely stop it on August, I can't do it myself, I can only seek help from Jesus, pray for me that I can overcome all of those withdrawal symptoms...

just to update...

Have been receiving a lot this few days, and there is my plan here, change myself to become a better person, do great things and shake malaysia. I made a decision, to work for God after I graduate in my college, I believe what i study will help me a lot. But sometimes it is a bit suffering when I study because a lot of things i study will crash on my believes.

Anyway, what i want to do is to handle my life to God, eventhough there are a lot and a lot of problem, I believe God put problems in my life is to give chances for me to grow up, mentally and spiritually. I really can't do anything by myself, there is only one people can help and save me... Is Jesus, I have been experiencing a lot recently. When I called out for help to him, helps are there, just very near to me.

I already have my own target, Not HER... is about what I have to do in my life..

Put HER down 1st, now i just want to change my own attitude, and I gonna do great things for you Jesus. Saying is easy, but doing it out is hard, I understand this, Everyone reading my blog, please do pray for me.

Now I just want to walk with Jesus, that is all I want to do, God have his plan on me, and I know what I should do...

Let's bring revolution to Malaysia, and the REVOLUTION STARTS WITH ME!!

Steamboat night

Just finish my steamboat with Daniel, Kenneth, Ah kit and some friends... Worst part in tonight's steamboat is that the food isn't that nice, and i finally found out that i can't eat much already, eating a bit also full already :(

Daniel, he is another one, at the beginning , we said that we are going to eat at mentari, who knows he suddenly call me and told me that to meet up at Asia Cafe and we are eating at Summer Steamboat. I was wondering, is there any steamboat in SS15?? Then me, ah kit and his brother took a cab and went to ss15, on our way... Then daniel told us that they are at Mentari... He ask us why go there!?

He thought that Ah kit's cc is call Asia Cafe!!! Waloehhh.. This is the greatest joke man.. then we took the cab, go for a big round from mentari to SS15 then went back to mentari again!! Daniel, nice one!!

And we also meet Jessey and her girl friends there.. haha! Surprise Jessey... hoho

Who made us?

Every product got it's own logo, people making products and sure will put their brand on it proving that the products are made by them...

So do us.. We got a logo in our body... Check this video clip out and you will know what I am talking about...

Praise the lord..

Terrible nite

Been to a terrible place, having a terrible nights with some horrible stuff and torturing seeing, and some ugly image around my sight...
And had been drinking some vomiting drinks making myself extremely sick and seeing lots of unwanted to see HUMAN BEING....

In spoil my beginning of my nice weekend, make my mood drop into the drain... Just like vomiting shit...

HORRIBLE PLACE.. NEVER EVER GO THERE ANYMORE...

Assignment assignment

There are two assignment to due this week and I haven't start doing anyone of them!! One of them I have to hand it up tomorrow and still I am not in the mood to do it due the tiredness and my damn stupid stomach... I have been running to washroom non stop since 11pm.

Kenneth, nice one ah.. Full of shit.. yeah.. I am really full of shit right now, full with shit in my stomach and full with shit in my shitty assignment... Totally full of shit.. and I am enjoying my own shit right now!!

Thanks Joshua for the meal tonite~ hugs hugs...

Anyway, semester ending soon and I am having another one month holiday, plans that I had made till today are:

1)Get my own car
2)Study hard
3)Enjoy my holiday
4)Grap some nice shirt and shoes!!
5)Build up relationship with GOD

And now.. I off to toilet and BOMB AGAIN!!!
BOMB BOMB POW... THIS IS WHAT I AM THINKING WHEN I SIT ON THE TOILET BOWL!!!! ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

我爱的女孩

By feeling, I wrote this, planning to put in music and make it out asap...
anyone wanna help?

你甜美的笑容

你可爱的脸蛋

你的一举一动

俘虏了我的一颗真心

无法想象没有你的夜晚

没有你的甜言蜜语

是那么的宁静 是那么的孤单

我爱的女孩 你懂我心

我不曾放手 也不曾放弃

只因我爱你 决不言放弃

不在乎你是否爱过我

一心一意只想要你开心

我爱的女孩 你可好吗?

选择的反手 是为了看到你的笑

如果我的存在 让你痛苦

如果我的关心 让你烦恼

我选择了退后

退到你感觉不到我的界线

你流过的眼泪

你哭泣的声音

你所受的委屈

对我来说是种折磨

自己不能给你什么

你也不想我给你什么

或许保持朋友的距离

对你我来说也是种解脱

我爱的女孩 你懂我心

我不曾放手 也不曾放弃

只因我爱你 决不言放弃

不在乎你是否爱过我

一心一意只想要你开心

我爱的女孩 你可好吗?

选择的反手 是为了看到你的笑

如果我的存在 让你痛苦

如果我的关心 让你烦恼

我选择了退后

退到你感觉不到我的界线

我爱的女孩 我最爱的女孩

就让我给你我最后一次的疼爱

词：gabriel

曲:

3rd day

Addiction still undercontrol, not yet die!! oh yeah~~ Today was seriously a tiring day, my alarm and joseph's alarm have been ringing for an hour till the moment i wake up, then we woke up and went to mamak for our breakfast... yeah.. both type of breakfast LOL. FYI, Joseph was being coned by the mamak today.. haha!

I went to fix my teeth and my doctor said that I could take my bracers of in 2 months time~ yeah! Miss my white teeth without steel!! But before that I have to bleach it since taking to much substance that will stain on my teeth :(

Send my phone to ss 15 as well, but that guy give it back to me, telling me to go to service centre in Low yat my own, because sending there my own will be much more quicker then the shop sending it.. Crap isn't it? Whatever, I just want my phone to be fix as soon as possible.

Add on, my computer space is running out... 500Gb have been full for few months and I don't even have anymore space to put my stuff, gonna get another 600++gb harddisk or a 1Tb hard disk this few days, I can't stand it already... Anyway, who wanna sponcer me Cooler Master casing? and also Razor mouse and keyboard?? lol


This are my unentertaint request in facebook.. it is making me crazy... so disturbing wei... Come on guys.. don't simply add unknown in your facebook.. at least adding someone you know or you see before...

2nd day

Mission failed today, I took 5 today... too bad too bad... Not because beh tahan, is because nothing to do :(

Anway, I have finally done my presentation today. I only found out that I looked for the wrong research paper today and my lecturer give me a day to redo it. Well, I prepared my whole presentation in a night.

During my class, I found out that most of my course mate do it so details and my slide and stuff i prepared is so freaking simple and little... I totally freak myself off and run here and there all the class and was trying to add stuff in it to hope that it will look more nice.

I failed to do that because I don't really understand what my research paper is about!!!

At last, it was my turn, I pull my laptop up and present it quickly. As quickly as possible and craps a lot of stuff, I don't even understand what the hack I am talking!!

After my presentation, I quickly get out of the class and go walk around to cool myself down, I thought I could be screwing up my presentation again, since i screwed up my mid-term exam.. I got 8 out of 30... Deep shit...

When i reenter my class, everyone left except my lecturer. She told me that i had done a great job, she gave me a 10!!! WOW!! Praise the lord!! I was so shocked and happy that time! Seriously didn't expected this!!

She liked my presentation, she told me that it is short and straight to the point and this is only called a presentation!!

I gonna do better next time, with god giving me wisdom , I believed I'll be much more better.

updating you guys, I am going around kl to find bookstore with books about a serial killer name Ted Bundy, who is interested to join me, just give me a call~~ ciaozzzz

1st day

Today is the 1st day I stop smoking. Starting from this early morning, I can't even wake up from my bed, and the whole day is totally lack of energy... I look like a zombie now!! GOSH!!

Whole brain is thinking of the feelinng when inhaling nicoutine, oh gosh... It is seriously killing me. Anyway, who want to replace me to go to club? Friends invite me to go to club on tuesday and friday, I don't really want to go since going there is just about drinking, and smoking... I made my decision not to drink and smoke but then there are so so so many temptation ha...

Die hard day 1... Will update what is my situation everyday... Hope I wont die, worst then drug addicts... This is what will happened if you take 1 big pack of dunhill king size in a day and this maintain for a month or two... then you decided to quit it and it will really DRAG YOU TO HELL!!!

Kissssss meeeeee orrrrr killllll meeeeeeee.........

Decision

Life is all about making decision, a decision you make will either bring you to an extreme or another extreme... This just happened to me

Few days back, you can see my mood swings so great that you can't believe that it is me standing in front of you, yeah... some problem happens for sure.

That day when I am half drunk, I made a decision to fall into a bad side, I called lots of my friends non stop looking for drugs, such as cocaine, so called "powder", pills, morphine and stuff just to take myself away from reality hope that it will lesser the pain. When I am making these phone calls. A very important person in my heart smsed me, seriously I didn't expected that person will sms me.

That friend of mine give me a verse mathew17:20

Matthew 17:20 (King James Version)

²⁰And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

God spokes to me through there friend. I know god don't want me to fall back to those life, if god didnt' touch her for sending me this verse at that time, or if she simply send some funny sms... You can see that I am taking drugs right now...

I made my own decision, why choosed to fall? I will strengthen up myself, and be tough. There isn't anymore time and reason for me to be emo and down. I will put down all of my habits and stuffs to become a better man. To honor god's name and to praise him, and to do big things for him!!!

God saved me once again, this is undeniable.