Saturday, January 17, 2009

Am I a playboy??

People will look at me, 1st impression normally is ... Gabriel ah.. see his face you know he is a play type lar... what the hack is this...

Super moody now... what should i do? I told myself before, never become sad because of girl anymore, but i can't do it. Especially to the one i like...

Maybe you guys wont believe, i only dated once.. surprise right? hahaha, everyone will be surprised because of this i guess, but is true.. I have been hurt by many girls before... hurt by those girls or even i can call them slut that never i have any relationship with them... i put my heart to them and ended up being played..

After my last relationship, i told myself i'll not date for a period of time but till the day i saw her. At 1st i really not so got feel on her de.. but days after days.. i realize the feeling cannot be stop.. It will make me getting miss her and wanna know more about her...

I said i'll surrender this feeling to god and ask god to lead me my path.. show me the way he want me to go... i thought... i only thought.. she will be the one.. and the last one..

Who knows? I even didn't said anything to her about my feel yet and i already can guess the ending now.. it is never a good ending!!! NEVER!!!

I'm really so naive right? I am not mature enough.. i look like play boy... everything of this make me to fail her requirement in her heart!

Seriously.. i hate myself for the 1st time so much.. seriously hate why i am someone like this... i really dunno what to do now.. tears just drop down.. nothing i can do........ nothing........

I'll never have someone by myside... right?

16 comments:

  1. Dude,
    get a life and make sure is a fresh one with a fine soul in u.
    It must be really challenging for u to blog this kind of stuff up.
    U should hate urself that u shouldn lie to urself n others as well,DUDE

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  2. hahaha~!! never judge a book by its cover...knowing that u miss us all in KL here~~ anywayz, most of us will be back to hometown as well...then can join cari cari makan sini sana lar~ stay cool man~!!! cOOl~

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  3. hey... cheer up... don b so moody...
    shud smile... n b happy...
    hehe... miss me leh???
    i noe u r nt playboy la...
    i was jez simply joke around tat day...
    don take it hard... 4get it...
    hoi... moody nt suit u ok???
    hmm... i believe GOD will arrange everythg nicely 4 u... jez hv 2 wait n b prepared...
    cheer up... CNY is coming...
    muahaha... :D smile~~~

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  4. i thot u forgot about god for good...i'm jus very disappointed in you that's all...i dono wat u r doing with ur life n y u r going down that road...but as they say do as u like...cant do anyting bout it...but till u turn around i wan you to know tat u r hurting a lot of other people either you know it or not...

    oioi

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  5. u told me u had a fragile heart...
    its really true...
    be strong okies???

    -grace-

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  6. hey dude..
    life is a twisted logic, you'll get what you want when you LEAST expect it.
    yeah, it's hard to keep those emotions bottled up for too long, so sometimes ranting helps.
    anyways, CNY is just around the corner, so get a fresh start and move on yeah? :)

    -mel-

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  7. bro ar I tell u la I felt the same way like u once before and then now I know the exact meaning of waiting upon the Lord our God already, tell u a secret la..God wouldn't let us handle stuff which we ownself knew that we cannot handle..and so if you failed many times in relationships which means that is God's plan,is just that we dont realized that is God's plan because we always concerned only our own directions and our choices and emotions,in the other hand while we falls for a girl which means we choice to fall in love with her and not waitting upon the Lord so that is why we ended up badly and hurting.=]

    God bless you.=]

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  8. "You'll never walk alone......"
    From ur bro back in town..

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  9. walao... who is dis unknowlegeable fella saying tat GOD nt exist in dis world... oh no... how sad u never noe how great is our GOD... be careful wad u say...

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  10. Thanks guys... really so touching... :) Jessey~ that unknowlegeable fella is on of my high school friend.. which is the main matter also.. haha.. i guess you got what i mean.. right?

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  11. you're a lot better if you compare urself to last time.

    Anyway, you have ur sandakan brothers to help you out if u really need the extra hand.
    The change is up to you to do it.

    But so far, I don't see how you can think about that stuff. Common, u're not that cheap!

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  12. Well, people ignore u after a few chats doesnt have to mean ur a playboy. It cud mean tat theyre not interested in u.

    N oh please, dont bring in God in in every issue la. God this God tat.

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  13. 大哥!不好意思我来迟了啦!我们哥儿们都相信你并不是你这里所写的每一个字。不要因为他们所对你下的结论而破坏你自己的心灵,最后选择接受他们的看法。

    相信你自己应该是怎样的人。不要气馁哦!加油!=D

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  14. hm..unknowledged..u wana try me out for God's history? or bible studies? how much have u read the bible? goin to church everyday(for stupid activities which play and fool around only) means nothing..church is not the place to let u find more fren(go bazaar if u wana knw more frens)...its a place to let u listen and stay near to our God...learn to pay some respect to our Mighty GOD..u guys r not the bosses of the GOD..wat in the world makes u guys think tat u guys can make GOD as ur servants? GOD is not here to serve u guys...He deserve a respect for wat he did for us...so u guys should pay respect and serve the GOD with true heart...but not keep giving him problems..hope u guys get wat i mean...Love our GOD, Love ourselves...

    May God Bless u all......

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  15. 好笑...好笑...
    Desmond啊,既然大家都是一心、一信、一灵、一主、一神的子民,为什么你口中所出的话都在存有挑战的含义呢?
    什么try me out for God's history之类的东西,who cares? 就算你知道全天下从亘古直到如今的点点滴滴,又能如何?你若不能禁止你的嘴唇,必担你口中所出的每一句话。
    种的是什么,收的也是什么,倘若你真的爱神的,你就不应该挑战别人。岂不知爱人如己吗?岂不知人若说自己在光明中,却恨他弟兄,他到如今还是在黑暗里。对于熟悉圣经的你这句话应该蛮熟悉吧?
    希望你不要再挑战你在主里的弟兄。我是以基督的爱来奉劝你,免得你的自夸成为你跌倒的绊脚石。

    既然耶稣来,是召罪人、服侍众人,原因是很简单而已,就是神爱我们。我很好奇你会说我们当神是servant,难道求神成就大事不是也同时在求上帝彰显他的荣耀吗?

    你如果要说历史,我相信本人不会比你逊色。请你不要忘了,智慧的人在神的眼前是愚妄。

    愿神的爱常与你同在。Amen

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  16. Desmond...knowledge doesnt proves tat you know God..u know OF HIM...sadly u dont know him personally n i wish you would...and since u r good at the bible i suppose u noe the consequences for leading God's sheep astray...r u truly happy with ur life? do u hav all the questions of life answered? u only hav to answer those questions to urself...i dont need to know ur answer

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